Toot Sweet: Couple Creates Wearable Flatulence Filter Daniel J. Vargas
August 06, 2001
C. 2001 Houston Chronicle
This is a fictional, low-budget commercial brought to you by the
people at Under-Ease protective underwear.
Matt: Hey, Becky. How are you today?
Becky: I'm doing fine. And you?
Matt: Great since I got my new Under-Ease.
Becky: What's Under-Ease?
Riiippp
(Becky displays a look of horror.)
Becky: Did you just ... just ... ?
Matt: Yes, I did. But you don't smell anything, right?
Becky (smiling): Wow, you're right. I've got to get a pair of
those.
(Voice-over: Do you suffer from flatulence? No need to make
innocent bystanders or loved ones suffer anymore. Under-Ease, with
a patented charcoal filter system, eliminates bad odors so you can
lead a normal, active life. For only $24.95 - that's $24.95 - you,
too, can be odor-free. Don't wait! Order now!)
Flatulence jokes have been around since, well, the Big Bang.
But truth be told, some of us have a legitimate gas problem.
Doctors say millions suffer from gastrointestinal disorders such as
irritable bowel syndrome, colitis, lactose intolerance and Crohn's
disease, making them more gassy than usual.
But a Pueblo, Colo., couple, Buck and Arlene Weimer, think
they've invented the perfect product that promises to wipe out the
stink surrounding flatulence.
Six years ago after a hearty Thanksgiving dinner, Mrs. Weimer,
who has Crohn's disease, was, well, tooting all night long. Mr.
Weimer could only cringe and hold his breath.
So Mr. Weimer, 62, put his nose to the grindstone and developed
Under-Ease, an airtight pair of skivvies made from a soft, nylon
fabric with an ``exit hole'' so gas can flow freely through a
porous fabric and into a filter.
Under-Ease has a seven-layer filter system with charcoal
sandwiched between Australian sheep's wool. The filter is 1/4-inch
thick so it's not particularly bulky, and Buck Weimer says it's
undetectable underneath regular clothing.
Arlene Weimer tested the prototype for four years. ``So I could
live with her, so to speak,'' the husband quips.
The Weimers then enlisted the help of the public by placing ads
in newspapers looking for volunteers to try their product. About 50
brave souls from California, Colorado and Missouri answered the
call in the name of medical-product advancement.
From their comments, the Weimers, whose company is named
Under-Tec Corp., made modifications to the underwear. Currently, it
comes in five sizes from small to extra-large for both men and
women. (The company is working on an extra-small.)
The company, whose Web site is www.under-tec.com, is changing
the material from nylon to 100 percent cotton for a more natural
feel.
Since going on sale in February, about 700 pairs of Under-Ease
have been sold to people all over the globe, Buck Weimer says.
Some, he knows, buy them as gag gifts.
Can't you just see them at 40-year-old birthday parties
everywhere? ``Time to blow out the candles,'' some wisecrack will
shout.
The underwear is washable and lasts about five to six months.
Filters, understandably, have a shorter life. About two to three
months, depending on the amount and strength of gas being released,
Buck Weimer says.
While it is the only wearable flatulence filter available, there
are a few related products such as the flatulence filter pad, which
disguises itself as a seat cushion and is made by Houston-based
UltraTech Products, Inc.
Weimer knows you can't enter the underwear/flatulence business
without a good sense of humor. The couple takes all the
cut-the-cheese and pull-my-finger jokes in stride. They did, after
all, raise three devilish sons, who are now in their mid- to
early-20s.
The company's motto even hints of comedy: ``Wear them for the
ones you love.''
How about this one: ``Let's put the word ``flat'' back in
flatulence.''
Web sites (such as XFio.com) devoted to human tooting claim the
average person breaks wind 14 times a day for a daily production of
a half liter of gas.
You can hear the excitement in Buck Weimer's voice when he talks
about the next campaign in the fight against flatulence: aroma
fabric.
That's right, instead of leaving a toxic trail, he envisions the
therapeutic aroma of roses, which would still be a dead giveaway
that you let something escape.
So maybe the Weimers have solved the problem of smell, but what
about the thunder before the storm - the split-second warning
system that reminds us of the duck-and-cover atomic bomb days?
``This is not a muffler,'' Buck Weimer warns.
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(The Houston Chronicle web site is at http://www.chron.com )
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