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HIV Positive Women and Sex
Positive Sexuality
We want to encourage you to continue to enjoy your
sexuality.
When we find out that we are HIV positive we are often
made to feel ashamed and afraid of our sexuality because we can spread HIV to the people
we have sex with. But if we learn about safer sex, and if we are playful and willing to
explore, we can hold on to a full sex life.
HIV Positive Women and Sex
The most likely way we can transmit HIV sexually is if we
have-penetrative vaginal or anal sex (your partner's penis in your vagina or anus) without
using a latex condom. Using a well-lubricated condom when we're having penetrative sex
really cuts down the risk.
Women have a much lower concentration of HIV in their
vaginal fluids than men have in their semen. This means that it is more difficult for a
woman to transmit HIV sexually than it is for a man.
As far as oral sex goes, it's pretty safe. We can give and
receive oral sex with very little risk of transmitting HIV. We should use a latex barrier,
like a dental dam, when we have our periods (a dental dam is a square piece of latex). But
other viruses and infections that can weaken our immune system, such as herpes, hepatitis
and candida, can be passed back and forth during oral sex. Decide for yourself ahead of
time the risks you are willing to take.
Some of us have partners who are also HIV positive. It
would be great to think that we could have unprotected sex with them and not risk our
health. Unfortunately, this is not the case. It may be possible to reinfect our partners
with our strain of the virus, and for them to reinfect us with theirs. And each exposure
to HIV stresses our immune system.
HIV positive women having sex with men may also want to
think about family planning, and how safer sex options fit with their birth control and
fertility needs.
Condoms
Sure, condoms can take some getting used to. But the latex
protects our partners from HIV and it protects us from getting other diseases that may
weaken our immune systems. Some women find that using water-based lubricant (like K-Y
Jelly) increases their pleasure with condoms. Using lubricant also helps prevent ,condoms
from breaking. Learn how to use condoms properly, for safety and pleasure.
Masturbation
Masturbation is a wonderful (and always available)
expression of our sexuality. As children, masturbation was the first way that many of us
began to explore our sexuality, and it continues to give us pleasure as adults. You can
masturbate alone, or with your lover... and it's totally safe!
Vibrators and Sex Toys
Some women think they are great! We can use them for our
own pleasure or in lovemaking with our partners. When we use sex toys with our partners we
should make sure to clean them with soap and water before sharing. them, or use a new.
condom on the toy for each person. You may transmit HIV if you don't clean your vibrator,
and you may also transmit other infections and viruses like herpes.
Not Having Sex
Our society gives strong messages about sexuality that
make it hard to decide not to have sex. The energy that you used to put into sex may help
other parts of your life now. And deciding not to have sex does not mean you cannot enjoy
closeness and intimacy.
Other Ways of Loving and Being Sexual
There are lots of other ways of our sexuality and our need
for closeness. Fantasies, flirtation, phone sex... the list is endless.
Physical contact is comforting. We are used to getting it
through sex, but there are also non-sexual ways of touching. We can hug and hold and kiss
our friends. We can give and receive massages.
Friendship is important. Some of your friendships will
grow stronger and more intimate. And you will make new friends.
Talking about Safer Sex with Your Partners
Be sure to protect yourself! Plan to always practice safer
sex.
Figure out beforehand how you are going to introduce the
topic of safer sex. Clearly think you strategy through before you are in the heat of
passion and might make a decision you regret. If you need help planning your strategy, ask
for it. Your health and safety are worth the investment.
Many women ask if they must tell their partners that they
are HIV positive before they have sex. This is a difficult question. Some women may have a
hard time discussing their HIV status with their partners. Ultimately it is up to you
whether you say that you are HIV positive, as long as you use safer sex. However, we must
also be aware that there is much social (and in some areas, legal) pressure to disclose to
our partners. You are the best judge of what makes sense for you in your situation. If you
are struggling with this issue, there are supportive counselors and other HIV positive
women who can help you.
You might decide to tell your partner that you are HIV
positive. If both of of you want to continue a sexual relationship, you will learn to
balance desire with safety in a way that keeps you both feeling happy and sexy. Don't
worry if this takes a little time.
What is HIV?
HIV stands for Human Immunodeficiency Virus. HIV is the
virus which, along with other contributing-factors, is believed to cause AIDS by slowly
destroying our body's ability to fight off disease.
A positive, or "reactive" HIV antibody test
means that you have come into contact with HIV and have been infected with this virus. A
positive HIV antibody test does not mean that you have AIDS.
What Is Aids?
AIDS stands for Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome. When
you have AIDS, it means that your body's immune system, which helps fight disease, has
been weakened. You are vulnerable to serious infections, often called opportunistic
infections, which can kill you.
How is HIV Spread?
HIV is spread:
 | Through penetrative sex, anal or vaginal, without using a
latex condom |
| By sharing needles or syringes without proper cleaning
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| From mother to baby during pregnancy, childbirth or breast
feeding |
| Through artificial insemination and transfusions with blood
or blood products which have not been properly screened |
People can have HIV infection and continue to lead
healthy, productive lives.
People can live well for years with aids.
Voices of Positive Women
We are a community-based non-profit organization directed by and for women living with
HIV/AIDS in Ontario.
All of Our Brochures Are Available in English
and French:
| HIV/AIDS Research and Women |
| HIV, Pregnancy and Our Children |
| Positive Sexuality |
| So Your Test is Positive... |
| Voices of Positive Women (our services) |
To Order More Copies of the above Brochures,
Please Contact:
National AIDS Clearinghouse
Canadian Public Health Association
1565 Carling Avenue, Suite 400
Ottawa, Ontario,
Canada KIZ 8R1
phone: (613) 725-3434
fax: (613) 725-9826
Our Poster "Women Live Strong Lives With HIV
and AIDS" is available only in English.
For More Information, to Become a Member, or to
Make a Donation (Tax Receipts Are Available), Please Contact Us At:
Box 471, Station C
Toronto, Ontario,
Canada M6J 3P5
phone: (416) 324-8703
fax: (416) 324-9701
Voices of Positive Women Is Funded By:
Health Canada
Ontario Ministry of Health
Toronto Public Health
This brochure represents the views of Voices of
Positive Women and not necessarily the policies of any of our founders
This brochure has been revised July 1995.
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